I’ve never made it a secret that I don’t want to have kids. I have a number of reasons – everything from the fact that I’m terrified of potentially (most likely) dealing with this like postpartum depression at best, postpartum psychosis at worst; I’d have to go off of all of my meds for the duration of the prenancy which is not something that I’m willing to do; the changes to my life that I’m really not willing or able to make; being able to do what I want, when I want; and to be honest, I just don’t want them.
I’ve never been a very maternal person – my little brother is 17 years younger than me, and sure, I helped out a lot. In many respects I was parent #3 when he was really young and I was at home. That experience really helped in turning me off from wanting to become a mother. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kid, but I’m much happier in the “cool much older sister” role I’ve been allowed to take on.
It’s not that I don’t like kids, they’re just not something that interests me in the slightest. I enjoy playing with my friends kids, once they get to a certain age, but I have no desire to have my own.
I’ve recently started to look into getting a bilateral salpingectomy (removal of the Fallopian tubes). The process is… exhausting. The gyn practice I normally see won’t do it without all of these hoops to jump through – appointment with a psychiatrist of their choosing, a long waiting period, and my personal favorite, my husband signing off on it. If I head “what if you change your mind” one more time I’m going to scream. I’m 38. I’m not going to change my mind. And having to have Mike come to an appointment and talk to the doctor so he’s sure? Enraging. Because apparently we’re back in the age where husband’s have complete control over their wives.
I subscribe to the childfree subreddit, and the amount of women that face this same problem is disgusting. This is 2020. I should be able to get sterilized without jumping through all of these ridiculous hoops, and the insinuations that I don’t know my own mind, and also that I’m my husband’s property.
It’s frustrating, to say the least. Now I’m on the hunt for a new doctor that will do the procedure.