And the inevitable crash

I’m crashing and burning right now. My mood is more apathetic. I have little motivation. For day two in a row, I just don’t give a shit. I really want to blame the fact that I close-open twice in a row, and that might be part of it, since I’m constantly tired and either getting not enough sleep or too much sleep.

I just want to lay on the couch under a blanket watching Orange is the new Black and hanging out with the cats. I definitely don’t want to go to work. I’m hoping that after tomorrow when my schedule goes back to a little more normal I can regain some of the motivation and good mood that I’ve had for the last few weeks.

I’m just tired. Tired of all of it. Tired of trying to do everything for everyone, tired of trying to take on too much, trying to push myself constantly.

A few hours later

Mike got home from work, convinced me to call in and say I’d be a few hours late, and we went to breakfast.

I needed that. I needed permission to say screw it and for once shirk some responsibility and do something for me. (Don’t worry, I’m going to work, I’m just going in late.) We’ve come up with a game plan for how to tackle the next few weeks and everything that needs to get done for spring and just general stuff around the house.

I knew from how well everything was going that the crash was inevitable. Hopefully this is more of a normal downswing and the pendulum goes back the other way soon.

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