mental health

Time to pick a focus

I’ve been in therapy for about two months now, and I think we’re pretty much through the past and present. It’s time to look to the future – so what do I want to work on? There are definitely issues with my anxiety that we can work on – coping techniques, how to deal with it in the moment. CBT for the ADHD, coping strategies again, daily management. Breakthrough symptoms of bipolar disorder like irritability? Or do I want to deal with the effects of trauma from when I was younger?

I need some kind of focus going forward. Sure, we can talk about the here and now, but what good is the whole thing if I’m not working on myself and my underlying issues?

I told my new psychiatrist that my anxiety normally hums along every day at about of 5. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but somewhere in that ballpark. I think it’s time to dig down and figure out why I’m constantly such a ball of anxiety. I think we also need to talk about my diet and exercise issues and make sure they’re not sliding down the slope of an ED.

I think that I need to start carrying around one of the little notebooks I have laying around and start making notes through the fortnight before I see her again of things that I think that we need to or could work on. That’s actually not a bad idea. I can also research things to work on based on my diagnoses and symptoms. I want the time to be productive and worthwhile. I don’t want to be in therapy just to be in therapy.

My original intent was to have someone check on my mental health now and then since my doc was MIA. But I think there’s a lot that can be gained from the whole thing. I just have to put in the work.

Darwin, our oldest cat, as developed the old man meow. If you’ve heard a cat do it, you know what I’m talking about. It’s the old cat equivalent of the old man grumpiness. He’s become super friendly and in your face over the last few months. As I type this he’s sitting on my lap with the front half of him draped across my right arm. Needless to say it’s making typing interesting. He’s 15 now, and has kidney issues, and I’m sure he’s not going to be too much longer for this world. That alone makes me give him a lot of leeway in what he gets away with. He drives me crazy, sometimes, because he’s become so in-your-face about absolutely everything. I’m happy to have him for as long as he’s with us.

That’s it for today. Hope everyone is having a good week!

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