I had my second appointment with my new doctor this morning. I really like her. She’s very “down to business” which I really appreciate. We talk about the important stuff but don’t get down into the details unless it’s necessary. I mean – that’s what I’m in therapy for, right? Anyway, she was very pleased with the new med that we started on last time, and decided to keep me on the low dosage since I’m having such a good response to it. She didn’t think that there would be meaningful gains if we went even a mg up, and that there was more risks for side effects, so ultimately it didn’t seem to be worth it to either of us. I like that she takes my opinion into consideration.
So obviously my ADHD is much better. Mike still has fun sending me memes about it or lazy perfectionists or something related, but instead of being the teasing “you totally do this” that it was, it’s more of the “aren’t you glad you don’t do this anymore?” kind. We’re able to laugh about them, which is good. It’s so nice that he accepts me for who I am and is able to poke fun at some of the ridiculous things that I’ve done. But he supports me in treatment mentally and physically whether its helping me get stuff done when I physically can’t or am feeling overwhelmed, to being either my cheerleader when things go well, or my foundation when things aren’t great.
I started looking into jobs. There are a few scientific companies in the area, and they seem to be hiring for a lot of positions. A lot of them they want degrees in both science and business. *raises hand* I have that. I’m going to put a lot of work into my resume this weekend and hopefully be ready to go by early next week. I’ve got a lot of anxiety about this whole process. Even just looking at jobs gets it going. Because then I think about the stress of applying, interviewing, accepting, and quitting my current job. I’m very nervous about that. I always feel like I’m letting people down when I leave a job, and I don’t like doing that. I know that I need to do what’s best for me, and I also know if I don’t do something I’m going to be stuck in the same job forever, which I definitely don’t want. Yeah, there’s a lot of anxiety about this whole process. My therapist and I talked about it a bit at our last appointment, and I’m sure it’s going to be a reoccurring theme for a few weeks, months, however long it takes me to find a new job.
But I’m not just looking for anything. I’m looking for something that’s going to really stretch my talents and force me to grow. Something that’s going to challenge me and push me. But I also want a job that makes enough money that allows Mike to step back and do something that he really wants to do without worrying about how much money he has to make. I want him to be able to enjoy what he does.
I’m going to leave that here for now as I have to go start getting ready for work. I hope you’re having a good week!