mental health · new me · wellness

Every day is getting a little better

I need to learn to be kinder to myself. I don’t know if I’d say that I had a depressive episode recently, but at the very least I wasn’t feeling my best for a few weeks there. So maybe it was an episode. Just a little one. But still. I was thinking about it today and I think I felt that I should jump right back into normalcy and immediately get back on track. We all know that it doesn’t work that way. It takes time to pick up the pieces and put them back together. And even then they don’t always fit back together perfectly. It takes time and some manipulation to get totally back to normal. Even with minor episodes you have to twist and turn some of the pieces to get them to work again. And sometimes they don’t work at all.

Enough of this puzzle metaphor. I’m not entirely sure where I’m even going with it.

This week has been pretty good. The concert was amazing, work has been good, we’re making progress with Fuzz who is now roaming the whole ground floor like a champ and has access to the second floor and our offices (even if he hasn’t come up here on his own yet he’s been up here with me carrying him up. The basement is off limits for another day or so.), I had a few good days off where I got a lot done but was also able to relax, I’ve been social with friends and am making plans to do another big group outing to an escape room, and my sleep has been better. I mean – I can’t ask for much more than that, can I?

I got my yearly review this week and overall it was pretty good. My manager and I decided that she’s going to start getting me more involved in more of the store operations, which is good. It says to me that she sees potential in me to do and be better than what I’m just doing now. It also means that she thinks that I’m doing a good job with what I’m currently doing.

The Cricut that I ordered like three weeks ago is still sitting in a box on my office floor. I have done literally nothing with it. I really need to get off my butt and at least get it unpacked and set up. And this is where one of the lingering effects of depression are still kicking – it just seems like such a daunting task. I know it isn’t, but it just feels like it will be. I’m being stupid and I know I am, but the thought just seems kind of exhausting. Know what? I’m going to make it a point to do it when I get home from work tomorrow. I just need to bite the bullet and do it. I know what my first few projects are going to be – stickers for my planner and some other organizational type stuff I want to do.

Tomorrow is another day to get a little further on track. To fit another piece back together. To get a little bit better. To be a little bit better.

So I’ll leave it there for today. I hope everyone’s had a great week and is looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Stay safe!!

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